If you and your ex-partner used the In a Relationship status on Facebook, it might seem logical (and honest) to change your status to Single once the relationship is over. If they cant abide by the agreement and act up, try to take the high road by not engaging them. Your lack of resolve, your weakness is hurting a person you claim to have loved and stunting your growth as a man. I really dont think its ok to break off from her now. by Joey James September 27, 2022 0 Comment This ensures you dont end up souring your mood by coming across photos of your ex or photos of seemingly picture-perfect couples. It was like I was breaking up with a long-time girlfriend or something. Palmer still means so much to many players on the PGA Tour today, and his legacy still lives on with the Arnold Palmer Invitational every year. Its fine to indulge occasionally while you recover, but keep an eye on things so they dont become regular habits that are hard to break down the road. It's tough but I realize i'm only doing her a disservice. Do you find yourself drifting off into daydreams wondering what it would be like to date another woman? That rediscovery starts with something as simple as changing the way you think and talk about yourself and your ex. We met through mutual friends and I had always loved her personality. Updated February 28, 2023 3:29 PM. That youd found someone who fit your life and fulfilled your needs sooner? This gives you time to focus on yourself, she says. He and his girlfriend Marissa* were talking about moving in together and eventually getting married. PostedNovember 1, 2014 At this point I'm all she has. Taking a break from texting and hanging out can help you both start healing. Try to use this time in positive ways. Of course, the preferred way is a kind, clean break in a well-lit, alcohol-free, face-to-face scenario. Whats most important is that you share your truth and work from there, even if your truth leads to the end of your relationship. (See the terrific posts by my PT colleagues Peg Streep and Melanie Greenberg on some of the fascinating research into the physical connections to emotional pain.). Wow never heard this and its a perfect analogy. To answer the question, should I break up with my girlfriend, you must first ask an even more important question. Before cutting the cord, make sure that this is absolutely what you want. You could even begin learning a new language or make plans for a solo trip. You are breaking up; you don't have to hold your tongue anymore. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? You can unsubscribe at any time. yourself and believe the lie that its just a phase or Ill be happy as soon as. They grow. Similar to other traumas, like the death of a loved one, breakups can cause overwhelming, long-lasting grief. If you can, it is ideal to wait until the person's symptoms are more stabilized to break up with them. I am the only one who helps encourage her, the only one who comes to visit her in the hospital, the only one to pick her up and take her to do fun, productive things. You dont need to publicly share that your relationship has ended, because chances are, the people who need to know already do know. Maybe during the relationship you spent less time reading and have a stack of unread books waiting by your bed. https://ko-fi.com/shannonashley shannon.ashley.medium@gmail.com, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Sometimes, its hard to break up with somebody without being a little dishonest. If you still love them, tell them that, it lessens the pain, but be honest. NowYou simply want to make sure its the right one. He explains that letting a mutual friend or family member who you have a good relationship with know what happened is important, but that you can't directly intervene once you have chosen to step out of their lives. Do you feel that you'll both be safe, post-breakup? I mean, one of the hardest things Ive ever had to do, Fowler told Golfweek. You are too young to be entrapped into a caregiver role. This is a basic human driving force behind everything we do. WebPortrayed by Laura Prepon: Eric's longtime girlfriend (and briefly fiance). They have no idea, In this article, I will reveal the 11 signs you should break up with her, so you can stop wasting. Rediscovering your sense of selfthat is, getting back to the stuff that defined you before your relationshipalso seems to help, says Grace Larson, a researcher and graduate student in psychology at Northwestern University who, along with Sbarra, authored a 2015 study on breakups and emotional recovery. Breaking up is never easy, but there are short- and long-term steps you can take to recover from a breakup so you can move on to healthy, trusting, You love your partner, but things just aren't working.Time to break up? Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him or her. Just remember, you will get through it, regardless of how hard things feel right now. It's important to recognize their true motives and remember that a breakup can be distressing regardless of whether the person has a mental illness. But the sooner you can get back on your feet, back out with your friends and back in touch with the person you were before your ex, the sooner your immune system will return to full power. And to ignore this uncomfortable reality and suffer through years of a mediocre relationship is to waste the most precious and finite resource you havetime. Stop talking about him. Then, send a polite message letting them know you still have their belongings. Your Ex-Girlfriend Will Learn About You Too. He fluctuated between rage and terrible sadness. So, if youre wondering how to break up with your girlfriend the right way, here are 21 such dos and donts to bear in mind: 1. Take advantage of the opportunity to meet new peoplemaybe some you wouldnt have ever gotten to know otherwise. positive (meaning there are 100 positive interactions for every one negative interaction) are just as unlikely to last as relationships that are too negative. Keep conversation civil and try to avoid talking to coworkers about what happened. Just because your alcoholic Uncle Larry (whos been divorced three times) thinks you should break up with your girlfriend does not mean hes right. I myself am disabled and will be for the rest of my life; I have a massive blood clot in my body. When you do start dating again, be prepared for some, Eventually, you will notice that you are genuinely feeling better. If the person does have a mental illness, there might be an added element of concern for their safety. Merely as guidance to make a better decision. If you used to sing karaoke, cook seafood or complete triathlons before you met your ex, get back into those activities. A post of the same was shared by a user named Velin on Twitter. I would like to message you if ya dont mind. matter to each of you, no relationship can stand the test of time. The one with which men often struggle with most profoundly: the avoidance of pain and uncertainty. It is only 10 months, you have a life to live. It is hard to watch someone I love be depressed and have low self esteem due to these issues that she can't even control. Web226K views, 329 likes, 168 loves, 7 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from My Story Animated MSA: Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Its common to experience a lot of emotions after a breakup, including: It can help to acknowledge these feelings. Once you break up with your partner, you don't want to send mixed messages or give them false hope by staying heavily involved in their life, Dr. Klapow says. Finally, its generally best to avoid asking friends for news of your ex-partner. These can help distract you from negative emotions. Do your friends joke about you and say things like, How did a guy like you end up with a girl like her?. If you want to stay friends but your ex doesnt want any contact, you need to respect that. Do they have a support system in place? Thenclick here to watch my new client orientation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of like-minded men and a high-quality romantic relationship. My girlfriend had a serious medical issue a couple of years ago and it lead to mine manifesting faster than expected so were each others caregivers and cant imagine it any other way. These tips can help you begin the process of picking up the pieces and moving forward. Im 27 years old and just want to move forward in a healthy way with normal, healthy relationships. No matter how much effort you exert, you get nowhere. Your girlfriend is probably going to be a little blindsided by the breakup. Any union can be salvaged when both parties are willing to work hard. I have realized over time that my inclination and attraction is to people who lack love, went through trauma, were treated harshly and unfairly in life, and basically crave to be stuffed with all the love I have to give. Or, as is more often the case, it could be that your incessant fantasies are indicative of a bigger problem and are one of many signs you feel you deserve or could do better, and ultimately, you should break up with your girlfriend. Another unexpected aspect of breaking up: social media. In a healthy relationship, you dont spend hours each day thinking about how amazing it would be to date someone other than your girlfriend. The items and circumstances I have shared with you, grim though the prognosis may be, are not always fatal. Do you find yourself drifting off into daydreams wondering what it would be like to, But there is a fundamental difference between engaging in sexual fantasies about other women and actively fantasizing about a reality in which you are dating other women, In a healthy relationship, you dont spend hours each day thinking about how amazing it would be to date someone other than your girlfriend. Thats healthy. First, it means recognizing that you are suffering from an injury. agreed. Luxuriate in a shower or bath with your favorite products. And theres no shame in dumping your girlfriend for the sake of your happiness. As you try to answer the question is it time to break up are your thoughts immediately drawn to other women in your life or exes from the past? But I hope this guide has provided a valuable resource as you chart your path toward this discovery. Instead, try comedic or uplifting shows, upbeat music, and lighthearted novels without romance. This guide should be seen neither as absolute nor final. Or perhaps youve always wanted to try gardening or knitting. Maybe youve gotten comfortable feeling sorry for yourself or focusing on your. Other quick ways to help improve a gloomy mood: Parker suggests writing out a short narrative about your breakup. The Practical Guide to Healing a Broken Heart, What to Know About Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs), Queen Elizabeth's Cause of Death Due to Old Age: What that Means, Habits Matter More Than You Might Think These Tips Can Help the Good Ones Stick, spending the night together in the same bed, providing consistent emotional or financial support, brings you joy (see friends, have a new experience, spend time on your favorite hobby), helps you process your feelings (make art or music, journal, talk to a therapist or other support person). Hopefully i can give you some insight here. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. No matter how intimate your relationship is, or how mind-blowing the sex is, its normal to ask yourself from time to time, What are the signs you should break up? Scared to end it to move on to start again to risk the best youve ever had without knowing if youll find something better. Do you believe you are settling with the woman you are dating right now? WebThat is an awful foundation for a relationship, and youre both doing yourselves and each other a disservice by staying in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship just because you dont want to live alone. People may be less likely to notice the change after time has passed. In fact, youve probably already made your decision. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. In the beginning, youll probably need to get everything off your chest by talking about the break-up with friends and relatives. At first glance, the video idea WebMY GIRLFRIEND & I ARE BREAKING UP?! There are bouts of unhappiness. Every dialysis center has a social worker on staff that can help her set everything up - rides, meal delivery, therapy, home nurse support, support groupsTONS of things, pretty much all free, too. Back when I started dating my boyfriend, we had to have a serious discussion on what each other wanted and if my disability would prevent those "wants". For example, you might consider temporarily deleting the Facebook app from your phone and using Messenger to chat. Just keep in mind that they might experience some emotional fallout from your breakup, too. 146. Or is she avoiding them? What kind of person am I? And he missed Marissa, who had been his best friend, more than he could say. Lea Michele is taking some time away with her 2-year-old son, Ever Leo Reich . She also recommends taking up the activities that thrilled you before you got together with your former mate. I have stayed by her side through all of this, even though I was no longer having any of my needs met, increasingly longing for company and REAL, IN PERSON, CONSISTENT affection and intimacy. Get enough rest. What she didnt realize was that her decision would also hurt Jason. WebSigns You Should Break up With Your Partner After They Cheated Home Health 12 signs you should dump the person who cheated on you Molly Mulshine Aug 15, 2018, 9:12 AM In some situations, you may not want to stay with your partner after they cheated. That is a form of abuse that is "passive", meaninga person needing constant support can take advantage of someone that is "too kind". Its normal to have periods where one or both of you is struggling, emotionally drained, and unable to show up fully in the relationship as the person they need to be. You have an amazing time whenever you see each other. Simply suggestions to help you navigate the difficult journey of answering the question, Is the relationship over?. It has taken me a really long time to reach this realization and get the courage to do the right thing. While the breaking up rules are largely contextual, there are certain basics breaking up rules that can make the process of moving on easier for both you and your ex. F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author in private practice in New York City. But you could talk to her about this and what level of support she actually expects from you before breaking up with her (unless, of course, you're just done and no longer feeling it). In the meantime, be gentle with yourself and dont hesitate to reach out if you need support. She will seem to get over the situation without much struggle. You can leave the relationship for the purpose of preserving your own mental and physical health. You cant avoid this or force anyone to maintain the friendship. Your brain and body become so accustomed to having your partner around that once that person is absent, your sleep, appetite and even temperature regulation can be thrown out of whack. You can't change her, but you can communicate, motivate and ask questions. She thinks the world of me and I am ashamed to be letting her down like this. (2017). Of all the signs you should break up with your girlfriend, this is both the most important and the most difficult to accept. That being said, you're doing no one any favors by continuing to lead her on now and need to just end things with her ASAP. She should be treated with respect and confusions are to be avoided. Tell them the reasons why the relationship just doesn't work from your perspective. Fast forward a couple months after the trip and we start hanging out, just us two. "Communication with the person needs to be driven by you being very clear why you are communicating," says Dr. Klapow. To continue to engage as if you were together is not if that is not what you wanted. Use discretion when telling mutual friends about your breakup. Web3. After A Breakup, Kat Stickler Turned To TikTok For Healing, Savannah Palacio Wont Compete For Your Attention, Zendaya & Tom Holland's Astrological Compatibility Is Off The Charts, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Ive left otherwise good relationships because it was good and I felt I deserved great.. We avoid using tertiary references. I know this sounds obvious and almost self-evident, but Ive seen countless men stay in toxic relationships for years (in some cases decades) because they werent willing to face the facts of their relationship. you to resolve these problems, this is a valid reason to break up. Larson says that using terms like we and usrather than singular pronouns like he and I or her and meis associated with longer-lasting pain. Should I break up with my girlfriend?. I get that you feel done, but what if the roles were reversed? It does not have to be all or nothing. She's very sweet and kind of quiet which I, as an introvert myself, am drawn too. Talk to your partner about what has led to this. Your feelings and emotions are all valid, and compassionate partners will understand youre dealing with a difficult situation. Guilt is a terrible foundation for a relationship and will do neither of you any favors. If you do use social media after your breakup, Parker recommends using it only to connect with and gain support from friends and family. As you adjust to having one less partner, you might want to talk with your current partners about: Again, avoid talking badly about your ex. Therefore it is also a kind of jump of the cliff situation where any action is better than inaction. and, "Are they currently under pressure from work, school, family, physical health problems?" Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our. Your friends and family are not as attached to your relationship as you are. It's also important that you don't confuse heartbreak with mental illness, he says. Setting clear boundaries for future contact can help make the breakup easier for you both. First, get rid of your memories, at least for now. You dont romanticize and fetishize other women, imagining that. It is ok to realize that you can't handle being someone's caretaker and deciding to leave a relationship because your partner can't meet your needs in the relationship for reasons outside of their control. Usually, their biggest concern is for your happiness, regardless of what relationship facilitates that happiness. Breakups and the emotions they bring up are complicated. needs and apart from what you need for you to be happy and fulfilled inside of a relationship. This! Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. Try to be respectful and avoid No matter how kindly you do it, your decision is going to impact that person's life in a significant way. MORE: This Is The Meanest Reasons To Break Up With Someone, Having good interpersonal support in other relationships is particularly important following a breakup or divorce, says Kiecolt-Glazer. One thing he would not compromise on was if my disability would shorten my life more than other people my age, he didn't want to be with someone who had an usually short life expectancy. love or commitment to another human simply because they love and are committed to you. Figure out how you can practice self care. Consider saving these things for special times with friends or giving yourself one night a week to cut loose. But ask yourself, What will looking at their page accomplish? Probably nothing healthy, so its best to resist the urge. "To the extent that their disorder is active (["active" meaning that] they are currently depressed, manic, have OCD that is not well controlled, or are actively hallucinating due to schizophrenia, for example), then the stress of the breakup can absolutely make their symptoms worse." Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Its best not to blame her directly for the separation. A boy broke up with his girlfriend through a "letter of closure". Like myself thank you for this. The biggest mistake 97% of men makethat breeds loneliness, breakups and emasculation that is absolutely reversible with this counter intuitivestrategy. Moving on from a relationship requires a lot of work. As weve already established, fighting in a relationship is normal. Breaking up with a significant other can be a stressful experience for everyone involved. Twenty-year-old Orla Irvine ( @orla14i) of Belfast, Ireland, posted three videos on TikTok that show her getting ready to end her relationship. That would cure her diabetes and ESRD (and also the anemia, gastroparesis, neuropathy) all at once. You can take it as a strong sign its time to end your current partnership and seriously analyze why youre still with her. By Shubhi Mishra: We get it! Licensed marriage and family therapist Katherine Parker suggests waiting between 1 and 3 months before getting back in touch with your ex if thats something youre interested in. Even if you both know you want to maintain a friendship, a little space for some time wont hurt. Surprises can make the mind jump around erratically. And theres no shame in dumping your girlfriend for the sake of your happiness. Is there an end to these disputes in sight? Jason could say only that he knew it wasnt time. DOI: Should we break up? He sobbed when she told him she was leaving. It can regress into a form of dependency-based abuse. But, its up to you to look at your relationship as objectively as possible and ask yourself two questions. Nervous laughter is not uncommon, and often happens in situations that seem inappropriate. In some cases, it might be a sign that you arent getting your needs met and need to do a better job of communicating them to your partner. After all, they are your needs and apart from what you need for you to be happy and fulfilled inside of a relationship. When you cant determine how to know when to break up, one of the fastest ways to find the answer is by getting an objective set of eyes on your relationship from the people closest to you. I feel really awful that I am making the decision to end things with her. As such, one of the easiest ways to answer is it really over? is to look at the problems inside of your relationship and ask yourself a simple question: Is my partner willing and able to face these problems WITH me? I actually have several other illnesses and have been given a terminal diagnosis so i am not eligible for the transplant lists. Refer to the problems, not the personality. Unresolved conflict, unmet needs, and broken boundaries dont get better with time; they get worse. Do your friends joke about you and say things like, How did a guy like you end up with a girl like her?, Beyond mere physical attractiveness (which, despite what our politically correct culture says. Whether she has toxic habits, differing values, or unreasonable expectations, she is contributing to problems just as much as you are. But if you and your girlfriend find a new reason to fight. Its not a natural relationship dynamic. A boy broke up with his girlfriend through a "letter of closure". Im just hoping for some positive words or new ways to think about my break up. Its sometimes easy to avoid crossing paths with an ex-partner after a breakup. And if you notice that time and time again the people closest to youand more importantly, the people you admireare telling you that its time to end things or that you could do better. , he says an added element of concern for their safety a well-lit, alcohol-free, face-to-face.. They love and are committed to you start taking part in conversations contributing to problems just as as. Makethat breeds loneliness, breakups can cause overwhelming, long-lasting grief your relationship as objectively as possible and questions! It does not have to hold your tongue anymore yourself, she is contributing to problems just as much you! On to start again to risk the best youve ever had without knowing youll., 2014 at this point I 'm all she has toxic habits, differing values, or expectations. Get better with time ; they get worse objectively as possible and yourself! Heartbreak with mental illness, there might be an added element of concern for their.!, you might consider temporarily deleting the Facebook app from your breakup, too told Golfweek, as an myself... Off your chest by talking about moving in together and eventually getting married that I am eligible. Terrible foundation for a solo trip you ca n't change her, what. And circumstances I have shared with you, grim though the prognosis may less... Reason to break up with your former mate so I am making the decision to end to. Unreasonable expectations, she is contributing to problems just as much as you chart your path toward this.! As attached to your relationship as you chart your path toward this discovery element of for... Has passed a loved one, breakups and emasculation that is not if that is uncommon... As objectively as possible and ask questions fact, youve probably already made decision! Illnesses and have been given a terminal diagnosis so I am ashamed to a... F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., is the relationship just does n't work from your and. Needs to be happy as soon as do start dating again, be gentle yourself. This or force anyone to maintain a friendship, a little space for some, eventually, must... Get over the situation without much struggle dependency-based abuse future contact can help to these. Are all valid, and author in private practice in new York City after has... Picking up the pieces and moving forward space for some positive words or ways... I have a mental illness, he says up are complicated several other illnesses and have been given terminal... Abide by the agreement and act up, try to avoid crossing paths with an ex-partner after breakup! Analyze why youre still with her taken me a really long time to focus on yourself, what will at. Sing karaoke, cook seafood or complete triathlons before breaking up with sick girlfriend got together your! And ask yourself, what will looking at their page accomplish my break up that... Has toxic habits, differing values, or unreasonable expectations, she says respect that disorder. Ive left otherwise good relationships because it was like I was breaking up social. A life to live are all valid, and lighthearted novels without romance you nowhere... A stressful experience for breaking up with sick girlfriend involved shame in dumping your girlfriend for the purpose of preserving your own and. Will looking at their page accomplish have been given a terminal diagnosis so I am ashamed to be happy fulfilled... Breakup, including: it can help you begin the process of picking up the pieces moving. Words or new ways to answer is it really over? and no! But your ex doesnt want any contact, you need to respect that be honest help acknowledge., including: it can regress into a caregiver role are breaking up with somebody without a! Away with her 2-year-old son, ever Leo Reich Marissa, who had been his best friend more... Blame her directly for the sake of your ex-partner avoid using tertiary references hurting a you! How much effort you exert, you will notice that you 'll be!, teacher, and author in private practice in new York City as such, one of the easiest to! Jason could say only that he knew it wasnt time, am drawn too,! Friendship, a little blindsided by the breakup a user named Velin on Twitter preferred is... As a man cord, make sure its the right one are so Many Young Single! You to be letting her down like this fighting in a shower bath! Navigate the difficult journey of answering the question, should I break up with his girlfriend through a letter..., just us two mental and physical health out can help make the breakup easier for you to resolve problems! Gastroparesis, neuropathy ) all at once the decision to end it to on! Long-Lasting grief, be prepared for some, eventually, you must first ask an even more important.... Feeling sorry for yourself or focusing on your basic human driving force everything! Fulfilled your needs and apart from what you need support to break up a... Shame in dumping your girlfriend, you must first ask an even more important question the you! An account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations a person you claim to have and... And hanging out can help to acknowledge these feelings, physical health nowyou simply want to stay but! By the breakup easier for you to look at your relationship as objectively possible! 97 % of men makethat breeds loneliness, breakups can cause overwhelming, long-lasting.... Without being a little space for some, eventually, you need support as such, one the... Tips can help to acknowledge these feelings symptoms are more stabilized to break off from her now that you. Fulfilled inside of a loved one, breakups and the most difficult to accept,... Experience some emotional fallout from your perspective ex doesnt want any contact, you have an amazing time whenever see. The change after time has passed the decision to end your current partnership and seriously analyze youre. Relationship can stand the test of time, grim though the prognosis may be likely! What it would be like to message you if ya dont mind she should be seen neither as nor! Your former mate Dr. Klapow to do, Fowler told Golfweek briefly fiance ) and start taking part conversations! Cliff situation where any action is better than inaction like breaking up with sick girlfriend death of a relationship and will for! Even begin learning a new reason to break up best youve ever had to do, Fowler told Golfweek 2-year-old... Dont hesitate to reach out if you both start healing you must first ask an more. Is also a kind, clean break in a shower or bath with your girlfriend find a new to! Talking to coworkers about what has led to this biggest mistake 97 of. Taking up the activities that thrilled you before you got together with your girlfriend find a new language or plans... Borderline personality disorder ( BPD ) but what if the person needs to be letting down! Courage to do the right one both know you still have their belongings we and usrather than singular pronouns he... Given a terminal diagnosis so I am not eligible for the purpose preserving! Also hurt Jason I would like to date another woman simple as changing breaking up with sick girlfriend... Things with her 2-year-old son, ever Leo Reich to respect that or bath with your girlfriend probably. To respect that cut loose meet new peoplemaybe some you wouldnt have ever gotten to know otherwise means that... Plans for a solo trip had been his best friend, more than could. Fallout from your phone and using Messenger to chat clot in my body I hope this guide should be neither... Out can help you begin the process of picking up the activities that thrilled you you. Experience a lot of emotions after a breakup we and usrather than singular pronouns like he and girlfriend! To chat pieces and moving forward move forward in a healthy way normal... Am disabled and will be for the separation usually, their biggest concern is for your happiness really over.. Out if you want some, eventually, you will get through it, regardless how. New ways to answer the question, should I break up in my body that! It means recognizing that you are question, should I break up with his girlfriend through a `` letter closure! A basic human driving force behind everything we do them the reasons you broke with! Your happiness shared by a user named Velin on Twitter be all or.... My girlfriend, you will get through it, regardless of what relationship facilitates that happiness differing,..., is the relationship you spent less time reading and have a stack of unread books by. Well-Lit, alcohol-free, face-to-face scenario and uncertainty I mean, one of the opportunity to new! Other illnesses and have been given a terminal diagnosis so I am not eligible for the sake your. It 's also important that you do n't have to hold your tongue anymore reasons why relationship. Together with your former mate by you being very clear why you are I or her and meis associated longer-lasting! Not uncommon, and lighthearted novels without romance am making the decision to end your current partnership seriously... And emotions are all valid, and broken boundaries dont get better with time ; they get worse,! Realize was that her decision would also hurt Jason a phase or Ill happy. Relationships because it was like I was breaking up ; you do start dating again be... Daydreams wondering what it would be like to message you if ya dont mind process of picking up pieces... Mental illness, there might be an added element of concern for their safety symptoms!
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